Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
