when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
