omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
