Your face is a jimmy john
he wants to bone in the snuggie
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
