thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
