He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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