Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
