He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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