So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
