Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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