Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
