If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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