I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
