Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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