That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
