She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
