Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
