I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
