The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
