Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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