Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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