Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
time to smoke my breakfast
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
