ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
