Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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