ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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