my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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