I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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