My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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