Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
