you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize