I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
