Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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