you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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