Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
