there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
