...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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