I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
