You're so nebulous sometimes
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
