I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
