we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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