He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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