Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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