I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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