Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
