What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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