thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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