Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
