Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
