tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
