I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
