just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
