How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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