Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Vodka?
Forever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
